since my last post was on my favorite item of clothing – denim, i wanted to do a sort-of part II, especially since a reader inquired as to what are some faves when it comes to denim…  i personally like boot cut denims.  my favorite pair are my ‘joey twisted seams’ by true religion, although my billabong boot cuts and kitson’s fitted flares do get heavy rotation!

since the name of this post is on baby fat, i have to mention the queen of Baby Phat, ms. kimora lee simmons – did you know she has 500+ pairs of denims?!  holy cow that is a lot!  and although she is the definition of fabulous-ity (just ask her) and is a true modern mama at heart, it is still even un-comprehensible for me to grasp that she can wear one pair of denims every day of the year and not repeat (not to mention have to do laundry, although i am willing to bet she doesn’t ‘do laundry’!) i have 14 pairs of denims (1 white, 1 black, and the other 12 various shades of denim blue).  - and shamelessly i have to admit, my collection ranges in various sizes depending on if i am working out, it’s the holidays, or…well you get the bloated picture.  i am curious to know what the average amount of denims other modern mama’s have?  how many do you have?

now i know i am getting way off subject (as always!), and haven’t even addressed the question in the title - when is baby fat just FAT - so here goes. read more

let me just start off by saying, ‘fear the mjs’.  no, i am not talking about michael jackson or michael jordan, but now that i think about it, you probably should fear them, too – what i am talking about is the ‘mom jeans’.  never heard of the term ‘mom jeans’?!  then you probably have a pair or two in your closet – in fact, you may even be wearing a pair now.

check out these two FUNNY videos on the dreaded mom jeans.  for those of you at work and are in a cubicle environment, i recommend you wait until you are at home to watch them because (1) you need to have sound and (2) you will laugh your pants off…but, then again, if you are wearing mom jeans, that’s a good thing….

here are the modern mama’s rules when it comes to jeans:

1. first of all, don’t call them jeans.  they are called denims. it is kind of like referring to soda as       ‘pop’…you are just outdating yourself and appearing a little old school – but not in a good way.
2. if you have ANY denims purchased before the new millennium, or in reality, before the last presidential election – get rid of them.
3. unless you are a celebrity/rockstar, you should not own any colored denims (one white pair for summer and one black pair for winter are ok, but they’d better be jet black and dressy, not acid washed and 80’s)
4. each pair should sit 1-4” BELOW your belly button and not taper down from your knee (unless they are ‘skinny denims’ that you pair with some ballet flats or boots).
5. your denims should NOT however, sit below your hip bones – unless you are under 25 and have abs of steel…then feel free to flaunt away and the rest of us will just despise you
6. the hem should sit ¼ of an inch above the ground.  this is sometimes hard to pull off with different shoe heights, but if you can fully see your shoes when standing up - then hopefully you are at a clam bake diggin’ for clams and waiting for the next tide to roll in.
7. buy denims by the fit, not by the size on the tag.  the old 501 days from the 80’s are gone so your waistline isn’t advertised on the outside tag.  this comment goes for clothes in general since there is no universal standard to clothes.  denims fit better and look better when they are slightly ‘too big’ and drape nicely on your curves – rather than all eyes focused on your zipper screaming for air and just waiting to bust out at the seams.
8. don’t wear denims with pleats.
9. don’t wear denims with pleats. (sorry, i had to put this one twice, just in case anyone missed it the first time!
10. and, since i started off with michael jackson, i might as well end with him – if you wear mom jeans - never never never wear exposed white socks with your tapered leg mom jeans – you will just end up looking like the king of pop with everyone within range of your fashion foul wanting you to ‘beat it’.

finally, the ONLY thing worse than a mom wearing mom jeans is a female who is NOT a mom and still wears them…and for the record – i don’t cook, but at least i clean – and i wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of mom jeans!

ps. want more mama fashion tips?!  be on the look-out for my upcoming post on “two-word phrases that should never be uttered or found in your closet!”

sorry – my real job is taking precedence this week, and although i would much rather rant about all things new and on my mind, i gotta take a break so i can support my diet coke and shoe addictions…so anyways - i only have time for a quick post today, BUT because of this, my NEXT one will be EXTRA good, i promise! ;)  …so you’d better check back soon!  as i mentioned in one of my earlier ramblings, i will try and post at least two times a week so here goes…

my son jalen and i have a new bedtime ritual inspired by the movie wall-e.  each night after his bedtime story and our small chat about his day, we pretend he is a robot and i proceed to ‘power him off’ by pushing a button on his forehead.  this is his clue that he needs to quit talking and go to sleep – because just like his mama, he is a chatter-box and can go on and on and on… ;)  after about a week of this fun new game preparing for sleep, jalen started ‘moving’ the button around to mix it up a bit (gotta love his creativity!).  one night it will be on his hand, the next on his foot, then his belly button, etc, etc… however, last night the funniest thing happened – when i pressed jalen’s ‘power off button’ on his toe (the last place it ended up at) – he told me as he often does – ‘no mommy, that’s not where my button is anymore!!! – then he proceeded to say – ‘my button is now HERE (pointing to his ‘pee-pee’) and i can turn MYSELF off and on by touching it!’

got a funny line or incident that happened with your precious offspring?!  i know you do – please share!

i know i just got a lot of guys’ attention with this header (and maybe some unique, new visitors to my site!), but this post – fortunately or unfortunately is NOT about double d’s… ;)  double d-d is the phrase my two-year old dylan exclaims every time he sees his reflection in the mirror because he thinks there are two dylan’s or d-d’s, since we often call him ‘d’ for short.  it is funny to see how excited he gets at the thought of having a twin or clone of himself, although the thought of having two kids the SAME age at the same time (especially when they are babies and toddlers) is pretty unnerving for this modern mama!  speaking of twins, what is up with all the hollywood mamas having twins?!  off the top of my head i can think of j-lo, brangelina, mia hamm, kim porter, marcia cross, and the list goes on and on… is it something in the water or just the latest ‘in’ thing to do or have?!  read more