recently, elle magazine had an article on 10 things that should be found in every woman’s closet. i would share the list with you, only due to my lack of organizational skills – i can’t find it, since i am sure by now one of my boys turned it into a paper airplane and soared it into the neighbors yard – again, or perhaps my husband confiscated it since he thought it was yet another shopping list of mine as i do my part to stimulate the economy. anyways, the list contained items such as a good pair of black pumps, the lbd, a crisp white shirt, a nice pair of denims, diamond earrings…etc. in fact, i did have all the items on the list, minus the crisp white shirt – mine is dingy gray with clorox bleached tiny spaghetti handprints on it (c’mon, i’ve got boys remember?!) – but then i realized, women, especially modern mamas - have WAY more than 10 items in their closets! so, with this in mind, i thought it is much BETTER to have a list of 10 items that should NOT be found in any woman’s closet, so here goes:

10 things that should NOT be found in your closet (from the modern mama’s perspective, of course):

1. mom jeans (need i say more?)
2. white pumps.  white, strappy sandals are fine, metallics are even a better alternative.
3. nude nylons. …especially in ’suntan’.
4. anything with shoulder pads (make friends with a good tailor, if the blazer/coat is salvageable)
5. neon. citrus colors are good (think turquoise, citron, and coral) – neon is bad.
6. colored slouchy socks. your’e not in jr. high anymore, your socks shouldn’t be coordinated to match your outfit.
7. hair scrunchies.
8. pants with pleats. they were cool in the early 90’s when you wore them to the mc hammer concert (i know I did…twice! – lol), but now, even mc hammer ‘can’t touch this’ fashion foul.
9. mock turtlenecks. anyone seen in public with someone wearing one of these should assume the ’scared/embarrassed turtle position’ and tuck their head in and hide.
10. gauchos.  unless you are a native cowboy of south america (where the name is derived from), these fashion fouls need to ride off into the sunset never to be found again.  they made a brief blip on the ‘c-list fashion scene’ in the summer of 2006, but now they need to find a permanent home at a goodwill near you.

*originally posted on poshmama.com by the modern mama, feature contributor for poshmama.com, the hip hangout for haute mamas!

with the holiday season fast approaching and your party schedule beginning to fill up – just say NO to any urge you may have to wear a ‘christmas sweater’. instead of wearing a sweater with a reindeer, snowman, or holiday motif on it, opt for a cranberry colored velvet blazer or matte-metallic silver sweater with a faux fur trim collar. both are chic alternatives that will leave santa (and all your friends and family) saying ‘ho-ho-ho’, not ‘no-no-no’.

also,  when attending a christmas party - don’t overdo the glitz and ‘christmas spirit’ with your outfit (see above).  remember, you are going there to have fun and mingle with friends and family - not compete with the christmas tree!

have you seen any holiday fashion fouls that were just complete train wrecks?!  do share…and hopefully you weren’t looking in the mirror!

i think the biggest offeder i have witnessed is someone wearing a christmas tree sweater with matching christmas tree earings that actually blinked!  and of course, she had to have the socks to match!  omg…keep the spirit inside/outside your home - not on your body!

no, i am not talking about mine (for once!), what i am talking about is creating something wonderful and useful, out of practically nothing!  if you are like this modern mama, your life is consumed by party after party, each and every weekend…now, unfortunately i am not talking about fabulous charity benefits and jet-setting around the world rubbing elbows with the rich and famous – these parties are more of the pizza and punch variety, rubbing kneecaps with the tired and cranky.  if your wee ones attend daycare or are already in school, your weekends most likely revolve around kids’ birthday parties.  i know mine does. times two!  at the conclusion of each party, besides leaving home with tired, sugar-infused wee ones, your precious offspring usually also get a goody-bag full of ‘stuff’.  this stuff ranges from candy, snacks, trinkets, and everything in between…  so what is a modern mama to do?!  here is my advice:  create a ‘pirates chest’, and after each party, let you child pick one item out of the goody bag and then put the remaining ‘booty’ into the chest for later.  then, each time you want to reward your wee ones for doing something above and beyond, let them pick out something from the pirate’s chest!  this works wonders for the little ones – think pirates chest at the dentist’s office…my 4 year old went tearless through a root canal because all he could think about was - afterwards, he got to pick out a treasure from the pirate’s chest at the dentist’s office!  this idea also helps keep your house organized and trinket-free for the most part since you won’t have a million bouncy balls roaming recklessly around the floors of your house. …now if only i can lose my own ‘booty’ as fast as the pirate’s chest!

*(originally featured on poshmama.com…in addition to my full-time job, the kids, the house, and my blog (and my blob!), i have taken on the role as a feature contributor to the fabulous and ‘haute’ site, poshmama.com) …yes, i am crazy, but i think we had established that already a long time ago!

as i mentioned in an earlier post about ‘normal’ weekends…three-day weekends are a double edge sword.  love them. hate them.

on one hand, it is great that you get an extra day off from ‘work’, but with most of us working for global corporations, do you really get ‘three days OFF from work’?  you may not have to drive in to the office, but chances are, you are still working.  …but this time, the kids are home – for all three days.  and most likely, there is some crucial 3-hour sporting event on at least one of those days that your husband/sig other will glue himself to the TV for and render himself completely useless to you and the kids during the entire time. even during commercials thanks to direct tv.  for those newlyweds reading this – this is called a ‘blackout’, as in ‘honey, the game is on – i can’t go to billy’s birthday party or put the dishes away, i’m on a blackout.” 

now, i have heard it is a lot different with a house full of boys vs. a house full of girls, and who knows if that is true – all i know is that come sunday night, my slogan is ‘TGIM’, because i can’t wait to get the kids back in daycare, the house back in order, and some or at least part of my sanity back into place.

so now here we are again, at that ever crucial paragraph and you are wondering – so what’s your point?! and my point is this:  the only way to make three-day weekends a win-win situation for everyone in your household, including you – is by using advanced planning and negotiation.  plan get-togethers with friends or family who have kids similar in age.  this way, your kids can blow off a lot of steam and have fun, while you can engage in some adult conversation and have fun yourself.  in addition, plan a family event that your kids WANT to do – and leave the blackberry at home for those 3-4 hours or so.  YOU’RE not that important, but your kids ARE  – so get over it.  finally, negotiate with your husband so each of you have a little alone time.  most likely, he won’t want to waste his 3-hour hall pass watching the game, and you can actually get some time to regroup and re-energize to get you through the long weekend.  now that’s a win-win situation for any modern mama!

ps. happy turkey day - let me know how your upcoming FOUR DAY weekend goes (thanksgiving + 3)!