recently, elle magazine had an article on 10 things that should be found in every woman’s closet. i would share the list with you, only due to my lack of organizational skills – i can’t find it, since i am sure by now one of my boys turned it into a paper airplane and soared it into the neighbors yard – again, or perhaps my husband confiscated it since he thought it was yet another shopping list of mine as i do my part to stimulate the economy. anyways, the list contained items such as a good pair of black pumps, the lbd, a crisp white shirt, a nice pair of denims, diamond earrings…etc. in fact, i did have all the items on the list, minus the crisp white shirt – mine is dingy gray with clorox bleached tiny spaghetti handprints on it (c’mon, i’ve got boys remember?!) – but then i realized, women, especially modern mamas - have WAY more than 10 items in their closets! so, with this in mind, i thought it is much BETTER to have a list of 10 items that should NOT be found in any woman’s closet, so here goes:

10 things that should NOT be found in your closet (from the modern mama’s perspective, of course):

1. mom jeans (need i say more?)
2. white pumps.  white, strappy sandals are fine, metallics are even a better alternative.
3. nude nylons. …especially in ’suntan’.
4. anything with shoulder pads (make friends with a good tailor, if the blazer/coat is salvageable)
5. neon. citrus colors are good (think turquoise, citron, and coral) – neon is bad.
6. colored slouchy socks. your’e not in jr. high anymore, your socks shouldn’t be coordinated to match your outfit.
7. hair scrunchies.
8. pants with pleats. they were cool in the early 90’s when you wore them to the mc hammer concert (i know I did…twice! – lol), but now, even mc hammer ‘can’t touch this’ fashion foul.
9. mock turtlenecks. anyone seen in public with someone wearing one of these should assume the ’scared/embarrassed turtle position’ and tuck their head in and hide.
10. gauchos.  unless you are a native cowboy of south america (where the name is derived from), these fashion fouls need to ride off into the sunset never to be found again.  they made a brief blip on the ‘c-list fashion scene’ in the summer of 2006, but now they need to find a permanent home at a goodwill near you.

*originally posted on poshmama.com by the modern mama, feature contributor for poshmama.com, the hip hangout for haute mamas!

with the holiday season fast approaching and your party schedule beginning to fill up – just say NO to any urge you may have to wear a ‘christmas sweater’. instead of wearing a sweater with a reindeer, snowman, or holiday motif on it, opt for a cranberry colored velvet blazer or matte-metallic silver sweater with a faux fur trim collar. both are chic alternatives that will leave santa (and all your friends and family) saying ‘ho-ho-ho’, not ‘no-no-no’.

also,  when attending a christmas party - don’t overdo the glitz and ‘christmas spirit’ with your outfit (see above).  remember, you are going there to have fun and mingle with friends and family - not compete with the christmas tree!

have you seen any holiday fashion fouls that were just complete train wrecks?!  do share…and hopefully you weren’t looking in the mirror!

i think the biggest offeder i have witnessed is someone wearing a christmas tree sweater with matching christmas tree earings that actually blinked!  and of course, she had to have the socks to match!  omg…keep the spirit inside/outside your home - not on your body!